Hi Sweet Friend,
Have you ever done any inner child work? If not, your definition of crying must be different than mine.
And so is your definition of relief.
Recently, I was reading a book called It’s Not Your Money by Tosha Silver. She suggests that when we’re grasping for more (clothes, food, love, money, attention), it’s usually the child inside us who is feeling scared or deprived acting out. I followed her prompts to meet my inner child with a simple meditation*, and cried my heart out when I realized how scared and stuck she felt.
I was transported to a very early memory where I'd locked myself into a room in my grandparents' apartment. My father was urging me to slide him the key from under the door so he could let me out. As if in a nightmare, I wasn't able to do it.
I was two years old. I panicked. The episode ended with my dad telling me to stand back and breaking the glass on the door. I didn't get hurt. At least not in the way that you would think I would.
I just believed that I wasn't smart enough to get myself out of there. I kept putting myself in similar situations so I could prove to myself and to my dad and to the whole world that I could actually do it on my own.
I cried so hard when I realized what I've been putting that lonely kid through for years. So much pressure. And the relief that came from being held and soothed by my adult self was incredible. I'm tearing up even now as I type. I gave her a hug and she wouldn't let me go for a long time.
Those of you that follow writer Elizabeth Gilbert (of Eat, Pray, Love fame) on Instagram will know that every morning when she wakes up, she has a conversation with Love. She says she asks Love (Universal, Divine Love, God, Goddess, The Source or however you like to call it) for advice all the time but always gets the same answer: “I don’t know, sweetheart. That’s not my department. But I will be right here with you, loving you, no matter what comes.”
So I adapted Gilbert’s conversation with Love into my own morning check-in with Mini-Me. “What's up with today's uneasiness?" I ask. And she tells me what's bothering her. I give her the same answer every time. "I haven't figured out that one yet. But I promise I will love and protect you no matter what happens."
After you reunite with your inner child, the best way to cultivate a healing relationship with her is to start having fun together. Make a doodle or a sock puppet, put your Snapchat filters into good use or practice one of your silly walks.
If you'd like to go deeper, you can take my Healing Through Creativity course to awaken your creative side with the help of breathwork. I now offer it as a private in-person course too. Email me and we can talk about rates & availability.
I'm also offering three Breathwork + Sound Bath groups in Manhattan and Brooklyn with my good friend Jen Duardo this month.
March 1, Sunday 2-3.30pm at Solid Gold Yogi, Bushwick. Sign up.
March 22, Sunday at 2-3.30pm Woom Center, Bowery. Sign up.
March 29, Sunday at 5-6.30pm Usha Veda Yoga, Greenpoint. Sign up.
I hope to connect with you soon. Please give your inner child a hug from me.
With lots of love.
Hande
*